1. Entertainment
Send to a Friend via Email

Your suggestion is on its way!

An email with a link to:

http://comedians.about.com/od/comediansontv/a/LCGroastjokes.htm

was emailed to:

Thanks for sharing About.com with others!

You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

Top 20 Jokes at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy

By

Top 20 Jokes at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy

Greg Giraldo takes a turn at the podium during the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy, held at the Warner Bros. lot in Burbank, California on March 1, 2009.

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Comedy Central aired the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy on March 15, featuring appearances by comedians Lisa Lampanelli, Jeff Foxworthy, Greg Giraldo, Jeffrey Ross and more. Though the insults were fast and furious, there were some that stood out above the rest. Here's a rundown of the 20 best one-liners heard at the roast.

(Several of the jokes were pretty racy, so those of you who are easily offended may not want to read on.)

  1. "For those of you who don't know who I am, I played Natalie on The Facts of Life." - Reno Collier
  2. (On Lisa Lampanelli) "Lisa actually has a lot in common with that Octomom, the lady that gave birth to all those babies. She's never given birth, but she has had eighty fingers inside her at the same time." - Greg Giraldo
  3. "I find the best way to enjoy one of Larry's movies is never put it in the DVD player." - Jeff Foxworthy
  4. (On Greg Giraldo)"Between roasts, Greg has to sell his blood, sperm and furniture to make rent. Luckily, all his furniture is covered in blood and sperm." - Toby Keith
  5. "You know you're important in this industry when Bill Engvall takes the time to send a tape." - Lisa Lampanelli
  6. "Do you even know who I am? Seriously, tell me, because I don't." - Gary Busey
  7. "Some people say Larry's only successful because he's pandering to the lowest common denominator, blatantly and not ironically exploiting people's racist and homophobic tendencies. Don't listen to these people, Larry. They're just bitter and jealous and right." - Greg Giraldo
  8. "Lisa Lampanelli lost 100 pounds, but that's because she was poached for ivory." - Reno Collier
  9. (On Lisa Lampanelli) "Front row tickets to Lisa's show are $100, and obstructed view tickets is $150." - Larry the Cable Guy
  10. "Toby Keith, when you wake up tomorrow there's still going to be liberals in the world, mexicans and blacks, Muslims and Jews and high school graduates...and everyone else who hates your music." - Maureen McCormick
  11. (To Jeff Foxworthy) "Jeff, I relate to you so profoundly. I, too, starred on a family sitcom where the father was secretly gay." - Maureen McCormick
  12. "Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes it reminds me to wipe my ass." - Lisa Lampanelli
  13. (On roasting Larry the Cable Guy) "I've never roasted a fake character before. Maybe next year we can roast Spongebob Square Pants." - Greg Giraldo
  14. "I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script." - Jeff Foxworthy
  15. (On the Blue Collar Comedy Tour) "Why'd you guys break up? Uncreative differences?" - Jeffrey Ross
  16. (On Jeff Foxworthy) "Jeff's a born-again Christian, which is no surprise. People always find Jesus after they've done something unforgivable, like The Jeff Foxworthy Show." - Nick DiPaolo
  17. "Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops." - Lisa Lampanelli
  18. (On Jeff Foxworthy) "Jeff was nice enough to bring me on the road with him at he peak of his career. And he kept doing it, even after 1997." - Larry the Cable Guy
  19. "How come nobody talks about your other personaes that didn't work out so well. You know, like Dan the Comedian." - Jeffrey Ross
  20. "How the f**k are you so popular??" - Greg Giraldo
  1. About.com
  2. Entertainment
  3. Comedians
  4. Comedians on TV
  5. Larry the Cable Guy Roast
  6. Top 20 Jokes - Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.